so i decide to write again.

10 Feb 2013

2 coffee morning. Yesterday lost the wallet. Somewhere between here and Navan Town. Feel real stupid. Its a rather large hold a check book size. Fortunately no cash, no credit or bank cards, no bank info at all... but my passport,US drivers license and Irish drivers license and also the little booklet from the Buddhists recording the date and my Tibetan refuge name. Anyway am amazed at having lost it. Thinking, thinking where, how, when could it have happened, lost nicked. Today I'll have to retrace the day going to shops, garda station, parking garage security. Pulled the car apart, looked all over the house, checked every possible jacket pocket you know until realizing i must depend on the kindness of strangers, i must accept the fact that I’ve lost my identity. There's no phone number in the wallet, the address on my Irish license is from three years ago, and i cant even comfort myself that maybe someone finds it and wants to get it back to me. Anyway its the feeling of stupidity, the feeling of why me, the sense of helplessness and the temptation to berate myself for this act of senility. So 2 coffee morning. All over the world it would be a 2 coffee morning or it would be if every one had that option. All over the world people are losing things more painful than my loss of an identity of a person who doesn’t even exist anyway.

There's Something to Be said

There's something to be said for the dark, something good desirable especially when its morning and someone's brought the coffee to you propped up still warm on pillows of last nights dreams. Then, no matter what country country awaits or morning shines,  no switch should be turned no shade raised or curtain parted. All that waits in daylight, work and striving to get to it; better lingered nicely coffeed
finding moments put the world inside your head in such a way as grounded in some sense of truth, suffering transformed to wonder. So when the light comes rushing in child bounces upon the bed crow complaints across the snow, shades snap up all on their own and yes each breath all bright shiny dance the shadow and its twin - all there is Monday miraculous so all you do can or will, is laugh. Up now or we'll all be late.